Defining Our Telos

According to politifact, divorce rate is close to 50%, but numbers say little about the nature of those relationships.  Being married does not tell anyone whether or if the marriage is doing well.  Martial statues are dichotomous.  It would be humorous and informative if applications and census had an additional box asking the nature of the marriage (Doing very well, doing well, doing fine, doing poorly, or the end is near). Considering that, certain marriages are toxic, demeaning, and destructive.

It seems wrong to hold superficial marriages in a higher regards compared to couples that cohabit in an otherwise healthy relationship.

Today’s marriage debate is without purpose and definition.

I fear that the debate is nothing more than arguing about superficial labels and practices.    I want to stop this cycle and go back to the underlining principles.  I believe this to be the case because issues like Defense of Marriage Act and rhetoric such as, “defending the sanctity of marriage” have become vague for me.  I am not sure what that means or how certain relationships and the legalization of gay marriage changes anything. (How does the structure, beliefs, and practice of the institution of marriage affect the growth or decay of society).  Conservatives are losing the moral debate with me.  But I whole hearty believe, that the case for same-sex marriage can’t be made on nonjudgmental grounds.

It is a moral argument as it is an objective and nonjudgmental one.  I want to tend to the moral arguments of marriage because I feel that I have failed to seriously reflect and develop a standard of what are the defining pieces and principles of the institution of marriage.

Here are the series of questions I would like to evaluate and spark a civic and civil conversation of the nature of marriage:

1. What is the purpose of marriage?

2.  What are the virtues that marriage honors and rewards?

3. In regards to marriage, what is worthy of honor and recognition in our society?

I am not sure which part of the ideological spectrum will win out, but I want to see the deep seeded convictions and beliefs of the entire spectrum because the current tone and rhythm of today’s debate–is hollow and fruitless.


About Logan

Logan lives in Arkansas
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3 Responses to Defining Our Telos

  1. Derrick says:

    Interesting questions. Interesting idea–especially the addition to the census; I think that would be awesome.

    Can I attempt to derail this at the start by questioning the very beginning. Can you separate the individual side of marriage from its effect in society? That’s my first reaction. I tend to think the individual side of marriage is vital to the sociological side.

  2. Logan says:

    No. I don’t think you can separate the two and I agree the individual side is vital to the sociological side. I read over my post again to see where I was ambiguous. My disclaimer is it. I didn’t mean for it say that the individual marriage is not vital to the sociological side, but rather I meant to say our focus should be to standardize– as a people, culture, and society– the purpose, virtues, and honor of marriage as an institution, as a social order. That disclaimer was to act as a scarecrow to fend off the concept of marriage as a snap shot of the most recent romantic comedy a person has seen. I wanted the institution of marriage to be defined first, then we can move into the individual level and sociological side– but it must be in that order.

    • Derrick says:

      Interesting. So we need to look first at marriage as an institution before we look at it as a personal practice. That’s a pretty radical claim. It’s going to be pretty rewarding, I think, to look at it from that perspective, considering that most people would argue that it developed the other way around. I’m interested to see where you go with this.

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